Every time I visit New York, I struggle with so many feelings.
Feelings of gratitude, to at this point in my life, have the opportunity to visit and enjoy this city almost every 3 months all expense paid by my workplace. That’s an amazing thing. I mean, it’s 99% work and 1% taking really long walks and being ‘present’ in the city. It makes me happy.
Feelings of anxiety, that I could be doing so much more, earning so much more, living so much more, and that I am capable of so much more than I’m even scratching the surface of.
Feelings of appreciation. That the world is so beautiful, and we, humans, have created so many amazing and mind blowing things. The buildings, the transportation, the experiences, the complexity of financial markets, the richness of our history and how we all, different as we are, got to where we are today in various different parts of the world. I don’t know about you, but I didn’t see myself existing in the midst of this abundance when I was a 17 year old kid leaving my parents, family, and everything that felt safe and familiar in Nigeria, and deciding to come out here to see where planes, boats, more importantly for me; computers, were ideated and designed.
Feelings of curiosity. Looking in so many people’s faces in one day and wondering what type of day they are having, whether their energy is as excitable as mine is and whether they are experiencing just as much sensory overload as I am every moment I step out of the office or my hotel. Whether they are living their dreams and being true to their authentic selves. Whether they are happy. You know, the type that gets you out of bed in the morning just because all of this that we exist in is so damn exciting.
I know there’s very little I’ve seen in the world, and I can’t wait to see more. But New York. I always feel so exhausted, yet full of life after I spend time here. That the world is my, our oyster. And we can make of it whatever we choose, however we choose.
So much more can be said about this place. Good and bad. One day I will write about it .